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Is BDSM for You?

On BDSM - bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism

Rather than read my thoughts on this I have collected some material from more…reliable sources that encapsulate many of my instincts and ponderings in this area.

Just Another Way to Play

…all available evidence shows that the vast majority of BDSM enthusiasts are mentally healthy and typical in every respect—except that they find conventional (“vanilla”) sex unfulfilling and want something more intense and intimate. Before condemning BDSM, remember that not too long ago, oral sex and homosexuality were considered “perverse.”

Two to 3 percent of American adults play with BDSM, most occasionally, some often, and a few 24/7. That’s around 5 million people. Meanwhile, around 20 percent of adults report some arousal from BDSM images or stories.

Subs Are in Charge

Although bottoms feign subservience, the irony of BDSM is that the sub is in charge. Bottoms can invoke the stop signal, and tops vow to obey immediately. Meanwhile, tops act dominant, but they must also be caring and nurturing, taking bottoms to their agreed-upon limit, but never beyond it. In this way, BDSM provides an opportunity for everyone to experiment with taking and surrendering power, while always feeling safe and cared for. People who enjoy BDSM say it results in amazing erotic intensity.

How to Begin

First decide if you're more into S&M or B&D. If the former, then spanking is the way many people begin. If the latter, blindfolding the sub can be fun. 

You can read the full article from which the above is taken in Psychology Today HERE

Could bondage be good for you?

A recent study on the psychological profile of BDSM (bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism) practitioners has attracted a great deal of media attention, with headlines proclaiming that “S&M practitioners are healthier and less neurotic than those with a tamer sex life.”

BDSM involves a diverse range of practices usually involving role-playing games in which one person assumes a dominant role and another person assumes a submissive role. These activities often involve physical restraint, power plays, humiliation, and sometimes but not always, pain. The person playing the dominant role (or ‘dom’) controls the action, while the person in the submissive role (or ‘sub’) gives up control. Many people have a preferred role they play most of the time, although some people enjoy switching between roles (‘switches’).

Common assumptions about people who participate in BDSM are that they [are] psychologically anxious and maladjusted; that they are acting out a past history of sexual abuse; and that they are attempting to compensate for sexual difficulties. However, the small amount of research evidence available suggests that these assumptions are probably not true (My emphasis)

…the recent popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey might be a sign of increased mainstream acceptance.

You can read more from this scholarly article in Psychology Today, from which the above quotes were taken HERE

Advice for Cosmo readers who want to try BDSM

Woman: Have a go! But please remember that you are still a whole person and that being submissive, dominant, or getting your kink on in the bedroom doesn't mean you have to forget who you really are. You can be you and be kinky. Understand what you're asking for: If you say you are a no-limits slave, then trust me, there will be someone out there who will take that literally. You don't have to do everything and anything to be kinky.

Man: Take the time to sit down and figure out what you want. It's OK if the answer is that you don't know and you want to explore, but even then it really helps to have a direction. It also helps to have an idea of what you really don't want. Then talk to your partner (or hook-up, or fuck buddy, etc.) about it. It doesn't need to be a clinical planning session — you can discuss hypothetical scenarios for other people, share porn that you find particularly hot, or plot fantasies out together. This might seem like very basic advice, but I know I still find it difficult at times to actually use words to express what I want, and miscommunication, or one partner going ahead with a grand kinky plan and the other person not being prepared for it seems to be one of the biggest problems people run into when starting to try some BDSM.

You can read the full Cosmo article HERE

It would seem to me that exploring your desires and urges in the BDSM field, in a safe and controlled way would be very high up on many wish lists? To try out some experiences and scenes to see if they push your buttons, without putting yourself at risk?

Directed Erotic Visualisation© offers just such a way to explore your sexual nature to the full, safely and risk free.

Of the more than 200 audio erotic DEV© experiences available there are many with a BDSM flavour and feel. They range from Over The Knee spanking to full on dungeon style bondage and the more extreme pain/pleasure scenes for the very adventurous. In each case you are safe and protected from real harm, though it may not feel like it at the time!

You can find out more by clicking on some of the cover images.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Don't leave without your Orgasms.

Loved it
Sunday, 12 May 2019  |  Britt

I love this one. Nice and dirty with multiple "scenes".

Sunday, 12 May 2019  |  Britt

I am a big fan of Essemoh but this one was a waste of money. Was expecting more from a XXX.

Beautiful Booty
Friday, 19 April 2019  |  anon

I really enjoyed this new title. Ms. Kitten gives a thrilling performance as usual. What I liked about this recording is it was easy to imagine her in the spooning position. It's a little short at only 10 minutes long, but it is pretty explosive. She knows how to play the role of the adventurous girlfriend very well. Also, who do I give a compliment for the artwork of this album? It is breathtaking.