Kink, Fetish & Paraphilia
Kink, Fetish & Paraphilia
Over the past near decade of developing and practicing Directed Erotic Visualisation© I have worked with many women, a few men and some couples to explore their sexual boundaries. In most cases we have discovered that these 'boundaries' are often fantasies in themselves, practices or experiences that have stood in the mind as 'places where I could not possibly go, just too dirty/naughty/bad/wrong' (circle as applicable.)
In most cases, when working through an individual's sexual desires and what really turns them inside out with pleasure, these boundaries have turned out not to have been barriers at all. Instead they have developed into potential playgrounds, 'forbidden fantasies', looked on with some longing and feelings of, 'if only I could...'
The things people do…
Some of the more common kinks, almost mainstream in these times, are as you would expect, spanking, bondage, submission, pleasurepain and exhibitionism. There are the equally popular fantasy sex scenarios such as The Teacher, The Doctor, The Work Colleague and the Very Sexy Stranger in a Bar. Many, if not all have featured in our fantasies at some point.
Others, less common, but no less powerful have been collaring, sexual slavery/sex toy, branding, needle and blade play, extreme tattooing and sex with non-humans. The latter (from experience) ranges from mythical creatures such as Dragons, Weres, Vampires and even Unicorns; through more usually encountered creatures, including Dolphins, to the Japanese Hentai (which roughly translates as 'pervert') Anime inspired Alien Tentacle sex. (When you read that list did anything make you tingle, just a little?)
Normal? What's that?
Often we get along with our peers by assuming the culture of the group. Culture is very simply 'how things are done.' We accept the group's cultural judgements and absorb their 'norms', often not questioning too deeply if they are really 'ours'. Like anything, if we are told it often enough and by enough people we accept it as 'reality' or 'fact'. Politician and advertising executives understand the power of persuasive repetition.
To step outside those norms and cultural boundaries has consequences. To be transgressive can sometimes attract sneaking admiration but more often brings the 'haters' down on our heads, so we generally conform and bottle up our wish to explore ourselves and our sensuality as something that is 'just not done'.
Cultural norms change.
In the sex toy industry they talk of the '50SOG moment'. Something that brought 'transgressive' sex play into mainstream discussion and the acceptability of owning and more importantly, using sex toys for pleasure. That was not really a single point in time, the changes in thinking had been decades in the making. It just needed a trigger to flip it from hushed giggles and restroom whispers to open discussions at the supermarket checkout. Now we discuss much of this under the umbrella of 'sexual well-being'. This is a more culturally acceptable way of saying 'I want to come, a lot harder and more often than I am now'.
'Hurting' can be erotic, 'harming' is unacceptable. This is another way of stating the BDSM community's mantra of 'safe, sane and consensual.' This is a useful guide, but we encounter the spectrum of practice and desire where it is often the submissive driving the process. The desire to be subjected to experiences of sexual degradation and erotic humiliation can seem to some as 'a step too far…' It is the issue of control that is often missed or not appreciated.
From experience, some of the most together and capable women, women who run enterprises and who hold responsible, socially respected positions feel the need to be 'out of control'. That phrase 'out of control' has many meanings, especially when we are dealing with sex, the erotic and the sensual. To be placed in the position of having 'no choice' but to engage in wild, dirty sex and to scream in multiple orgasm while biting and being bitten back can be very freeing.
To be 'forced' to do erotic things to and have sex with…anyone, or anything, to not have to make the judgements and decisions, to not be responsible (It's not my fault, I had no choice…) can be highly charged erotically and very, very pleasurable. This is not about consent, it is about consenting to have that decision taken away for a time, to just experience the erotic sensations and not have to think about boundaries, barriers, culture or what our colleagues, friends or family may have to say on the matter.
The strongest responses I have had from collaborators is to the words 'You have no choice in this…' Invariably the consequent orgasms are stronger and more numerous. That tells me it is a very important factor in their sexuality and their pleasure.
In terms of Directed Erotic Visualisation© the opportunities to explore these Borderlands of Forbidden Fantasy are endless. Where else can one find a Vampire, a shapeshifter or a many tentacles alien monster to have sex with? Where does one go that is safe to be tied up, helpless to resist and taken inexorably by a mechanical dildo? Where can one have sex with a Dolphin or be wined and dined and made love to all night long in a comfortable hotel room?
So far there isn’t a DEV© Dolphin audio experience available to download but there are audios through which one can experience all the others. Of the endless list of paraphilia or fetishes I often wonder which would be most popular and looked for if people had the choice?
What would be your 'If only I could…?
Here are just some that have been encountered in my practices but yet to make it to pre-recorded audios.
Sex with non-humans:
Dolphins (again!), Unicorns, giant snakes, giant eagles, panthers, puppy play, Stone Monoliths (as a sacrifice to Stonehenge!) sex with a storm, Lightening, Ancient Books in a library even your office chair!
Sexual acts & practices:
Genital tattooing, piercing of nipples and clitoris with acupuncture needles, cutting and edge play, lactation and suckling, breast enhancement, gender change, age regression and infantilism (sexual not diaper or related play), erotic semi asphyxiation and sensory deprivation.
Did reading anything on that list make you tremble or shudder, make you stiffen a little or get wet?
I would like to hear from you if you would like to explore any of the above or a kink of your own so we can consider producing some particular experiences for an exclusive DEV© Triple X series, called 'Demanded by you…'
You can leave a comment here or e-mail us at eSensualbooks
In the meantime here is a list of just a few of the kink and fetish DEV© experiences currently available
Bad Boy - For men, experience the severe attentions of a dominatrix
Don’t You Dare! - For men, edgy orgasm denial and submission
Fantasy Sex for Men - Your chance to have three of your dream women, Nurse, Teacher and Secretary
Surrender & Submission - For women, a trio of experiences in which to be dominated, taken and used
Dragon Sexxx - For women, a fiery, lust filled and powerful creature wants you.
Surrender Yourself - For Gay men, a Vampire wants you in the worst way
The Toy - For Gay men, being dominated and surrendering everything
Sweet Spot - For Lesbian women, directed masturbation
Nymphs & Fairies - For Lesbian women, bound, helpless and ravished by mythical creatures
These are just a few selections from the nearly 200 Directed Erotic Visualisation© audio experiences currently available from eSensualbooks.co.uk. Give some of them a try, discover if your boundaries are quite where you thought they were. Or perhaps you could open your personal doorway to a whole new world of pleasure and orgasmic experiences.
Go on, surrender to the inevitable, you really don’t have any choice… Just tell them Essemoh made you!
Directed Erotic Visualisation© Making the world better, one orgasm at a time
Monday, 14 May 2018 | James
Saturday, 12 May 2018 | Kathy
In My Handsí voice and scene setting is perfection. This is going to be an audio I revisit time and time again. So well done.