GAY BAR 2000 by Zack Miller
Tuesday, 24 November 2015
GAY BAR 2000
by Zack Miller
"For me, you're not a gamer if you don't use a controller. Sure, I have to play on 30-year old hardware, but that's the price of being hardcore," I say.
My friend Jack, sitting in the Camry's left hand seat says, "The only game that interests me is getting laid." He scratches his balls . . . no, he's playing with his balls, like I do when there's no one around. His hand grasps the huge bulge beneath his jeans. I can see his muscles through his flannel shirt, too, and I feel a cramp in my stomach like I'm uncomfortable or nervous. I try not to think about it and look away.
"Yeah. I haven't had much luck since college," I say. "I just don't have the looks." The wind keeps blowing my hair in my face and I have to brush it away from my eyes.
"Sure you do. You work out. I can tell. You're a good-looking guy."
"You think so?" I rub my scalp.
"Trust me. You can get all the ass you want. I'm telling you, you're a sexy savant. Just lose the glasses and get a haircut, you'd be a regular heartthrob."
I laugh out of nervousness. If I'm good-looking, Jack must be super good-looking.
I ask, "Where're we going anyway?"
He folds his arms across his chest and grins. "Guess."
I don't have to guess. I say, "Camry, where are we going?" I groan.
Jack says, "Hey, that's cheating."
I say, "Stupid car. Camry, what is your destination?" The car's green and blue holographic display pops up above the center console, showing our location and destination. "Oh, no! No. We are not going to Germantown." Germantown is full of condemned buildings and liquor stores and it's a great place to get fucking robbed.
Jack just laughs and I resign myself to it. I mean, it's not like I can grab the steering wheel ('cause there isn't one).
The car parks itself across the street from a place with a neon sign that's half burned out so it just says "Lounge" in blue script. I say, "No way, man. This place looks like a total dive. There's never any chicks in those places and, if there are chicks, they've got implants--and not in their boobs."
"Trust me, you'll love it."
When we walk inside the first thing that hits me is the punk music from like 50 years ago. Next is the place smells like a sewer and the upholstery's torn on the booths near the entrance. There's a cigarette machine (!) and a jukebox. There are hardly any girls, and they're all scary-looking, with dyed hair and medically unnecessary implants. I gesture to the girls and whisper, "I told you so." There's a big group of like rockabilly guys in black leather around the pool table in the back. Across from the bar there's a pinball machine and two black cabinets labeled "Player One" and "Player Two" in red LED lights.
Jack nods at one of the pool players, who nods back.
I sit at the bar next to Jack and order a beer. He points to a girl with a mohawk and says, "She's pretty cute."
"Dude, she's got a prosthetic hand. No thanks."
We each drink a beer and sit in silence a minute.
Jack gestures to the cabinets. "You ever play one of those?"
"Those neural interface games just give me a headache."
"When's the last time you played one?"
"I don't know, maybe five years ago in school."
"On a home console?"
"Yeah. It was called Sorority Sleepover. It was so lame! You couldn't even feel your own boobs."
"Trust me, today's arcade games are way better than that. You feel like you're really there."
I get up to take a closer look and see the anime-style art painted on the side of the cabinet. It's a bunch of muscle bound dudes having an orgy, and the title: GAY BAR 2000. "Woah, uh-uh," I say.
"What's the matter? It's just a game."
"Gay stuff happens in gay bars."
Jack says, "Only if you want it to."
"I don't want it to."
"Why not give it a try? I'll be there to protect you."
"Okay. But for only like five minutes, tops, and I'm out."
Jack opens the "Player Two" cabinet and gestures for me to enter "Player One."
I open the cabinet door and climb onto the seat, place my chin on the chin rest. As the cabinet door slides shut, a system of metal arms clamps to the back of my head, holding me immobile. Then the machine lights come on and I hear a loud whirring noise, and then there's a flash of white light before everything shuts down and the cabinet door opens.
I find myself in a gay bar. It's not much better than the place we just left, only more "festive" I guess would be the word? Everything is lit in black light, and there are several guys dancing in the big open space in the middle. The bartender serves up fruity drinks with umbrellas at the bar in the back. I have a little bit of a headache, just behind my eyes; but it only lasts a minute. Jack steps out of the cabinet next to me and says, "What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?"
"How do I log out?"
"Don't tell me you're wussing out on me."
"I'm not. I just want to know."
"You just step back into the cabinet."
Then I see a muscle bound black guy dressed like a Roman centurion (I'm not even joking) wearing gold shoulder guards, a leather skirt, high leather boots, a gold helmet with red horse hair crest, and a red cape--no breastplate. I turn to Jack and say, "Oh my God, look at that dude's chest. Is he a boss or something? His chest is like glistening. I think I see sweat on it. Can I touch it?"
"You'd better ask him first."
I approach the centurion and say, "Um, excuse me, sir, would you mind if I touch your chest?"
The centurion says, "Go right ahead," in a surprisingly falsetto voice for such a masculine-looking guy.
My jaw drops as I rub the palm of my hand over his pecs, which ripple under my touch. It's like petting a shaved horse. I turn back to Jack and shout, "The AI's voice recognition is so accurate!"
Jack gives me a disapproving look and waves me over to the bar. "Do you want a drink?"
"Sure, why not?"
Jack says, "Listen, the AI think they're real people. Call them out and they'll turn on you."
As I take a seat next to Jack, the bartender--another beautiful CG creation--places a whiskey in front of each of us. I'm surprised to find it tastes just like real whiskey, and it burns. I even feel buzzed and after two drinks Jack says, "What are you waiting for? Mingle!"
I step out onto the dance floor, which is like ten degrees hotter than the bar. This really is better than any game I've ever played. It's almost like real life--no, exactly like real life.
Two guys start dancing in front of me. I ask, "So, uh, are you guys players or are you part of the game?"
The one with the red kerchief around his neck says, "What are you talking about?"
"I get it. You're NPCs."
The other guy, a real working class looking guy in a black tank top, thrusts his pelvis at me and says, "I'm massively multiplayer." Then he busts out laughing like he's on speed.
I excuse myself and back away.
I'd drunk a lot of soda before Jack picked me up. I don't know why I'm feeling it in the game, but the pressure on my bladder feels pretty intense, so I make my way for the bathroom.
I drain my bladder and as soon as I turn around from the urinal, there's the centurion, out of nowhere. He slams me back against the wall and knocks the breath out of me. My adrenalin starts pumping--I'm about to get my ass kicked. Instead, the guy starts making out with me. I resist at first, but his lips feel so soft and his grip on my shoulders so firm. The mixture of fear and sexiness feels so hot. Even though I think he's not gonna hurt me, my heart is beating out of my chest. I find my chest heaving against his as I stroke the guy's muscle-bound torso. I want him to slam me against the wall again and do whatever he wants with me. It's so realistic. I wonder if there's a game like this with girls, where they're so aggressive like that. The heat of his tongue in my mouth, though, feels just fine. I'm aching for more when he turns around and leaves. I'm like what the hell, right?
I tell Jack what happened and he laughs. "Yeah, that sort of thing happens a lot in this game. Hey. You want to try something really fun?"
"I don't know. What do you have in mind?"
"Do you want to take turns sucking each other's dicks?"
"Dude, you know I'm not gay."
Jack says, "You wouldn't murder anyone in real life, but you play shooters, right? Same concept. It's just a game."
I can't argue with that logic. Besides, that encounter with the centurion has me wanting more.
The bathroom is pretty big with room for a urinal and stall, with a lot of space in front of the sinks. If I had any complaints about the game so far it would be the cleanliness of the bathroom because, let's face it, that's totally unrealistic; but then again I guess they must keep it clean because of all the sexing that goes on.
As I'm thinking about that, I watch Jack undo his zipper real slow, building tension and anticipation. I'd never do this in real life, but right now my body's telling me to do it. I take a deep breath and kneel in front of him.
His cock looks huge, like it's right in my face. Well it is right in my face, but you know what I mean. "How many voxels do you think are in this cock?" I ask.
"I'd guess at least two million."
"Two million? That's huge!"
I start out licking the head and shaft, and then I take it into my mouth and slowly move my head back and forth, gently twisting and stroking the shaft with my right hand. It tastes like sweat. Once I get going, I really get into it. I've got my technique down and everything, from years of 'bating and watching chicks do it in pornos. I'm telling you, if this game had high scores, I'd win for sure. Then Jack starts fucking my face, which feels so weird, I mean like emotionally? Because I've never felt used that way. For a minute I wish that he wouldn't stop. When he slows down, I stick my tongue out and slap the head of his cock against it until he looks like he's about to explode, and then I take him back into my mouth. My mouth is filled with cock and it feels so right. When Jack comes in my mouth, though, the illusion disappears and I gag.
Jack zips up as I spit into the sink and wash my mouth out.
I say, "It tastes awful!" It's like salty and sweet and nastiness. I wonder if that's what cum really tastes like, if the game got it right, because the girls in porno videos always seem to like it. Aside from the taste, I can see why girls get into sucking dick.
Jack says, "You suck dick like a girl."
"Really?" I feel flattered.
"That's not a compliment."
Then it's my turn. I unzip and pull my semi-erect cock out, and I notice how it looks exactly like my real dick. Jack says the game scans it in. Jack is way better at sucking dick than me.
"Oh God. You must play this game a lot," I say. Within a minute I come in his mouth. The orgasm is amazing--not like the kind you get from jerking off. Jack licks his lips and swallows. "Oh, gross. You did not just swallow."
Jack shrugs and says, "It's an acquired taste."
Jack's got a hard-on again. He looks up at me from his crouched position and plays with himself through his jeans. I'm getting hard, too. This game is wild; it's like it amps your libido by ten times.
Jack asks, "You want to fuck?"
"No way, dude. My butthole is an exit, not an entrance."
"You could do me."
"What, and get poop all over my wiener?"
"You wear a condom. Besides, it's virtual reality. It's not like you're really putting your cock inside me." Jack's rock hard inside his jeans. I can tell he wants it bad.
"Okay, but just once and I gotta log out."
Jack hands me a condom ("triple-lubricated for his pleasure").
"Where'd you get this?"
"I used game tokens on the dispenser over there."
Jack maintains eye contact as he undoes his belt and pulls his jeans down. He takes off his flannel shirt and tosses it on the sink. His abs are rock hard, like his cock. Turning around, he bends over, sliding off his boxers. His back is muscular like a bull's back. I run my hands along the "V" shape of his lats. That's when I notice his ass is hairless. I hesitantly reach out to touch his butt cheeks. "Um, how come your butt has no hair on it? Is that part of the game?"
"Yeah," he says.
Then I notice his anus. It looks just like a girl's. My cock throbs in anticipation and I tear open the condom and roll it on. Then a funny thing happens as I spread his butt cheeks. His anus pops open, suddenly round and inviting. I slide myself in. It's tight, but I go in smooth. It feels good, 'cause it's like pressing against me and massaging me. I slide my cock in as far as it will go and Jack moans, and then I pull almost all the way out, and repeat, teasing his anus with the head of my cock. Before long, Jack starts bucking against my pelvis, forcing my cock in harder and deeper. His enthusiasm makes me even hornier. My whole body is hot and I'm drenched in sweat. I love the way he wants it. We drive our bodies together, both of us nearly exhausted. Then I come and Jack moans like he's coming, too.
As I roll off the condom and Jack pulls up his boxers and jeans, I see that he came all over his chest.
We both stand there panting a minute while Jack washes up and puts his shirt on. My emotions feel so unsteady now. I look in the mirror and have some serious doubts about myself. I know it was only a game, but I just had the best and only sex of the past five years. I mean I haven't had such a visceral gaming experience since Tsunami 3 with the Super Headset Vision that came bundled with the game when I was eight years old. I'll be dreaming about this for weeks.
I splash cold water on my face and say, "Well, it's been fun, but I'm ready to log out."
Jack smiles knowingly and says, "That's cool. I understand." As he says that, he undoes his belt buckle and unzips his jeans, whipping his cock out. He asks, "You sure you don't want to try?"
It's all I can do not to run from the restroom. If I was gay, I'd play this game all the time, because the sexing and the blowjobs and making out were all hot as hell; but I am definitely not gay.
I climb back into the cabinet and the clamps come down on my head and it lights up and whirs again. When the cabinet door slides open I'm back in the "Lounge" bar. I climb out of the cabinet and order another beer. Then I notice like everybody in the bar staring at me. The guys playing pool look over at me with grins on their faces. One of the guys shakes his head. I look down to see if my zipper is open. I notice I've got a wet spot on the front of my slacks from where cum leaked out. I really came. Weird. That was some game!
As I'm walking for the exit a girl with blue hair and plugs in her nostrils says, "Have fun sucking Jack's dick?"
"Come on. It's just a game."
"You believe that? When's the last time you played an arcade game without swiping your credit card first? There's a gay bar below this one. Those cabinets are just elevators."
"Yeah, right. You think I'm gonna believe a crazy chick like you?"
I walk out onto the street and get on my phone. "I need a taxi, please. Hold on. I can't read the name of the bar. Can I send you my GPS coordinates?"
I sit on the curb and boot a classic games emulator on my phone while I wait. As soon as I get paid, I'm gonna get me one of the next gen home systems and buy Sorority Sleepover 2. Maybe I can take some migraine medicine for the headaches. It will totally be worth it.
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