Aftercare: Before he starts snoringAfter Care:
A snuggle before he starts snoring…
It’s a story as old as time. The woman is smiling, the love chemicals (see Chemicals) racing through her veins and suddenly she is wrapping herself around her lover looking to prolong the intimacy and bliss. Before she can say, ‘hold me’, the gentle snores of her partner drift to her ears.
Biologically, it is perfectly normal for a man to drift off to sleep after orgasm. He almost cannot help it. Almost. Guys, it may be difficult, but even a few minutes of cuddling is possible and better for you in the long run. Many a woman has lain frustrated staring at ceiling ‘angry’ that her partner could not be bothered to give her what she needs. As the sleep is natural for the man, the cuddling is essential to most women.
Anyone can cuddle, but it takes a Welshmen to CWTCH: Snuggling and cuddling and loving and protecting and safeguarding and claiming, all rolled into one. There is an element of intimacy, earnestness and ownership in this Welsh word (recently adopted into the Oxford English Dictionary) that the closest English equivalents, "cuddle", "snuggle" and "hug" lack.
Hot, sweaty, sticky the last thing you want is another body in the same condition piled on top of yours. Take time to share a few words, you don’t need to go through a run down of the session, just a connection. If you’re both feeling phenomenal it is the least vulnerable time to share. Play nice, the words will be pouring out of you as part of the release. If there was something you did not enjoy or would like done differently it is not the best time to bring it up. Focus on the positives of your mate, even if it is not related to sexuality you can find something positive to say. Men are more prone to looking at the scorecard and can be feeling particularly vulnerable. They truly want to please you. If there is something he was exceptional at providing, tell him! Make a big deal about it. A word of caution here: If you did not like it, do not say that you did. Men take your suggestions and comments very literally and use them as an owner’s manual to your body. Unless you really were blown away by him licking your eyelids or using his elbow to massage your belly button, you might want to let him down gently with a” that was different” or “I always enjoy being with you, but it wasn’t my thing.” Otherwise, he will keep doing it until you are insane and scream at him.
It’s my party and...
Many times orgasms will bring on the tears. The release is a release. If you have held back emotions, been under stress, have not had an orgasm in some time, then your body completely let's go, it is natural for your emotions to follow along. Do not be concerned if your partner is crying. If they say nothing is wrong, believe that it is simply a way of exposing themselves fully to you. It is a bridge to greater trust and deeper intimacy. While the intensity may be frightening, to be able to share this with your partner is a gift. Treat it as such. A few words of encouragement, a tender touch is all that is required. In many cases, the best thing to do is nothing but be there for them and let them finish.
If one partner is a trembling heap upon the bed, the other can take the role of caregiver. It is a two-way street. Remind your partner to use the restroom (SEE Honeymoon) before they go to sleep. Encourage them to rehydrate. If necessary help them to change the bed or offer to take the wet spot.
Consider using a warm wet face cloth to cleanse their body. While you are gently touching them is a great time to remark on different ways they please you. Wipe their hands and say how his fingers pleased you. Or cup her sex with the cloth and tell her how wonderful it was to be welcomed inside her.
If you have the energy – or the necessity, taking a bath or shower together is a great way to prolong the experience. If either of you have the energy a gentle massage is a great way to stay connected. Again, even a few minutes of intimate connection will help to solidify your feelings for one another.
Monday, 14 May 2018 | James
Saturday, 12 May 2018 | Kathy
In My Handsí voice and scene setting is perfection. This is going to be an audio I revisit time and time again. So well done.